Wednesday, 28 December 2005

Saying goodbye

Tomorrow  would have been my Wedding anniversay - Dick and I spent many happy years together

the last 12 years of his life were very hard for him, He was a strong man and other than having

Mumps when he was 44 years old he never had an illness. never took time of work.

When he had his first heart attack he had been working in the garden - Lyn happened to glance

out of the window and saw her Dad holding his chest and not looking too well. She ran up the

garden to see what the matter was...he said he was OK, but she knew he was far from that, and

said she was going to telephone me at work - he insisted she didn't - but she did anyway. I told

her to ring the Doctor and I would be home shortly.

I raced home, and by the time I arrived the Doctor was there, he confirmed that Dick had a heart

attack and was going to ring for an Ambulance take him to the hospital....and that he was


to keep lying down until it arrived....well he didn't and when the ambulance arrived he answered the

door, he was well  Suntanned and looked extremely well, they asked him where the patient was,

Dick told them he was the patient, they insisted that he lie down in the ambulance as they would

get wrong if anything should happen to him. on the way - he went to the Hospital against his will I 

might add, and was kept in for about 10 days,


His second heart attack was about 2 years later, he was planning a surprise birthday party for me,

but as he was taken back into hospital this never took place.... While in hospital he suffered a

Stroke....he was not paralyzed, but it did effect his brain and speech, he could not speak and when

he tried to the words would come out all  jumbled  and not as he intended them to. it took months

of  speech therapy and all of his will to overcome this....which to some degree he did....It did effect

his hearing

funnily enough he could always understand what I said to him.

We go ahead a couple of more years, Dick picked me up from work and said he had not been

feeling well all day... during that evening he was taken bad and collapsed in the bedroom - he was

trying to get up off the floor and pushing very hard to do so, I tried to help him but being very

small I was of little help.

..I phoned the Doctor who advised me to call an ambulance which I did - I rang  Lyn to let her know

what was happening - she said she would meet me at the hospital....I waited and waited for

the ambulance to arrive half an hour passed then nearly an hour - Lyn called and wanted to know

what was happening.I explained the ambulance had not arrived.... she contacted our Doctor ...who

then ordered an Ambulance - it arrived quite soon after that....the paramedics had quite a job to get

Dick onto a stretcher...because by then he was barely conscious,

When we arrived at the hospital they did lots of tests, and admitted him onto a ward....

When we visited the next morning the Doctor asked us questions, and he said they understood

Dick had been abroad, I told them he couldn't hear very well and he had actually been on the

Norfolk Broads Not Abroad...

..The Doctor was surprised as Dick had contacted Legionnaire's desease - and this for most people

is fatal

 .....He was in intensive care for about a week - and thankfully got better against all the odds...and

came out of hospital after about three weeks.

I remember sitting having breakfast with him one morning and remarked how well he had been for

about a couple of months....when I glanced at his arms - they were covered in big red marks he had

got shingles.

Time went on and we got on with life as best we could, Dick coped very well with his disabilities,

and always enjoyed the visits of our grandchildren and Great grandchildren. who he loved dearly.

He was having a bit of trouble with pain in his knees, and on a visit to the hospital they said they

would do a small operation on both knees to help with the pain - He was booked to go into hospital

just before Christmas, but this was cancelled at the last moment and deferred until early February...

Christmas came and went and  February  arrived ,,,Dick went into hospital....the operation went

well,  But he caught a bug and was put into isolation, he was very ill and later transfered to Critical


he then caught another bug, and was put on life support....It was up and down - some days we

we were told he was improving ....the next he was getting worse...then holding his own...., this went

on for a month - one day when Lyn and I went

into see him he pulled me towards him and gave me a huge big kiss then he did the same to Lyn....

Later on we were called into see the Doctor who told us there was nothing more they could do as

all of  Dicks  organs were shutting down.

..How do you say goodbye to someone you loved so dearly...and I never imagined us not being is an impossibility......One I have yet to come to terms with..

He had lapsed into a coma.....

He didn't regain consciousness and died March 3rd 2003

The year before Lyn's husband Richard died in April from a massive heart attack - they told us it was so quick

he would not have felt a thing he was a big strong man - A farmer who worked all hours that God sent him.

Lyn and I decided she to sell her cottage on the farm and me to sell my bungalow - we put

the money together and bought the Bungalow we live in today. It is a Big place with 5 bedrooms - but we both felt we needed our own space and needed a new beginning......



msecz said...

What a sad story but a loving one too. I'm glad you are sharing a good life now though and the house sounds lovely. Hope you are both happy, Sandra

funnyface0s0 said...

Dearest Ally
Love hurts.........but what a wonderful life you have had together, your children are the fruits of you love and now grandchildren and great grandchildren which you must be so thankful for.   Its wonderful that you and Lynn have each other and that you have that special bond of mother and daughter..... god bless you both.

haileen2003 said...

Such a sad Story to read,it's good that you and Lyn have each other!
I'm a new reader, but will visit again
Best Wishes for 2006

onemoretina said...

    Dear Ally ..... I am wishing you peace, and the comfort of your wonderful memories.  There is nothing harder than losing someone you love.  I remember helping my mother through the loss of my father.  Theirs was a beautiful love story, and not long ago I asked her how she coped.  She told me that she felt so grateful to have had what many people never did .... She was married to the love of her life for 32 years.  My parents set a great example of a good marriage.  Next June will be my 31st anniversary, and I feel so grateful to have the love of a good man.  Every so often I remind myself that nothing lasts forever, and to enjoy these days, even the less than perfect ones !  Thanks for sharing your story.  Tina

spikedc said...

Don't really know what ta say Ally but bein a bloke we never do . Glad though that you had lots of good years together and Dick sounded like a real fighter after all he/you went thru together
X spike X

bbartle3 said...

Remember me? I'm the seagull lover.
Gee whiz what an extraordinary and brave
journal entry; you're smart to do that, brava,
'cause, so goes my guess, that way completion
lies. It's almost as if - please allow me to speculate -
in the telling you can almost not believe it!
I'm old and my wife is young, and we have
three young children so while reading your
entry I wrestled again with dread of the inevitable
finally showing up. Will I have Dick's courage
I ask myself? Probably not. Anyway, your entry
is inspiring and I thank you for allowing me to read


kywoman319 said...

Happy New Year Ally
What a wonderful time you all had together,I am sorry for your loss,But we do have memories.That gives us some comfort.
Take Care,Melodie

jeadie05 said...

AOL played me up a couple of days ago ,so I must have missed the alert for this one ,Iam so pleased I found it ,you were very brave to relive all this, bless your heart ,what a love story ,thanks for sharing ,with love Jan xx

sdrogerson said...


thinkingoutloud said...

Dear Ally,

Such a bittersweet entry here.

I don't know how one survives after loosing their spouse.
I hope I never have to find out.
My Mom was only in her 40's when my Dad passed.

You are very fortunate to have Lyn and the life you two share.
I wish you all the best in 2006.

Happy New Year:)

Huggs n love-
p.s. I love the snow pics. Beautiful home you have. Enjoy-

csandhollow said...

Thank you for sharing this. I could feel the love you 2 shared